


Catfish  (kuroo x kenma)

by m1nt



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:42:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27612956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m1nt/pseuds/m1nt
Summary: AU: Kenmas flat broke in college but wants to buy a new game released causing him to resort to becoming a catfish. Surprise, Surpise guess who he meets online.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

Kenma had picked up gaming as a hobby as a child and still played them. Charecters on the screen didn't give him as much anxiety as real people did, he preferred if they all kept their eyes off of Kenma. A new RPG had released by the biggest gaming company out there but it was way too pricy and he could barely afford to pay for his apartment and food. Sure, he was a streamer but not famous enough to receive big bucks. The game had better been good if it was priced at $40. Maybe if he was able to get his hands on it he would be able to up the reach on his gaming channel.

\-------

"ugh," kenma sighed, he mumbled words that weren't quite child friendly for awhile before throwing his phone onto his bed and plopping down on his chair at the desk. Starting up the PC and for the 100th time stared at the big forty dollar label on the game. He logged onto his account and wrote down an anonymous blog, people on the internet never disappointed after all. Grumbling he hit submit and waited for a few minutes before checking back in 

"hmmmm..." kenma scrolled through the answers some of this wasn't helping at all. Most of them were just unhelpful things like to go get a job or making fun of him in general. He rolled his chair back and put a hair tie in his mouth to wrap up his hair into a ponytail. Grabbing the hair tie and tying it up he scanned through the rest of the responses. 

"Oh wow" he mumbled "seems smart enough" and logging out of his old gaming account he clicked on the sign up button ready to do whatever it takes to get that game.

\------

Sakura.Shygirl638

Name: Sakura 

Bio: Hi i'm sakura! :) Im looking for someone to help carry me through games but im a little shy <3

\-------

Kenma slapped his computer screen and then put his hand over his face "no ones gonna message me unless its a pretty girl," he grumbled and turned to the right to face his mirror "and surprise surprise, i'm a fucking dude" He lifted his hands up to tighten his ponytail. His hair was growing out to be a little too long

"Maybe I should cut my hair soon" he thought for a moment. And then it clicked. All of kenma's features were feminie in general so he could probably pull off a look. Problem was he didn't own anything remotely femenine like. Picking up his phone he scrolled through his contacts and stopped at the L section. He didn't want to but he needed to go to extreme lengths if he wanted this game. 

"What a pain," Kenma grumbled before clicking the call button.

\-----------

Kenma always tried to avoid the monstrosity of a human named Lev as much as possible. Ever since highschool he latched onto him like lice. Lev seemed escpecially excited to be getting the call first to come over. Not that Kenma was there for Lev he was more there for his sister. Kenma didn't surround himself with a lot of females.

"for good reason too." kenma mumbled. He only talked to Lev's sister on occasion but this would be awkward. His sister absolutely adored kenma she thought his long hair was beautiful and his figure was great for modeling her clothing brand. 

"Kozume!" sure enough Alisa Haiba had rushed down the stairs and grabbed his shoulders "have you decided to model for me?" Kenma turned and avoided her gaze to stare at their rug at the doorway instead.

"well more or less?" Kenma answered vaguely. Alisa obviously wasnt satisfied with this answer and shook him even more. Her and her brother shaed that trait for nagging. "Well I need to borroww some clothes and makeup" Kenma hastily explained. This was more embarrassing then he cared to admit. Surprisngly Alisa had not minded at all and sent him home with a dress, hair products, and a whole makeup kit fit for a studio. 

Lev complained as soon as the door closed behind them. 

"You were only here for my sister Kozume?" Lev whined. Kenma shot him a glare before looking back down at the large duffle bad hed been carrying in his hands.

He hoped the guys that would message him would be less of a nut than a human string bean.

\---------

3:34 AM

Kenma sat in front of the mirror in his room for hours, his laptop playing the 100th makeup tutorial he had found on youtube. 

"Girls really go to extra lengths to look pretty for men huh?" Kenma thought. "too bad it doesnt work for me, maybe I like guys better or something." Kenma stopped dead in his tracks with the mascara wand still on his eyelashes. 

"what did I just say?" Kenma thought out loud. "It was just a joke, besides jokes like that arent really funny so I should stop"

Continuing his mascara he looked in the mirror. He had looked totally different. He looked more like Sakura than Kozume. His jawline had been altered to look more round and feminine, his eyes were signicantly larger and had a different shape, his nose was slimmed down to look pretty and any imperfections on his skin were cured. Pulling out the dress he was reluctant.

After Kozume changed into the dress he brushed out his hair and styled it, and then put on a pair of fake acylic nails alisa had included inside of the bag. He barely recognized himself. He couldn't even recognize him as a he anymore. 

"And now you're done with your all nat-" Kenma had paused the video before admiring himself. The only thing he could even recognize about himself was his hair color. Sitting down in front of his mirror he took a few photos until 5 AM had hit he finished making sakuras profile and cursed himself to sleep, too lazy to get out of the dress.

as kozume dozed off to sleep still in his sakura disguise his phone had rang once. 

Gaming Community:  
(1) new message from T1NMAN491


	2. Chapter 2

Kenma had woke up with his eyeliner smudged all over his face. Upon going up to clean it in the bathroom he changed into a plain white shirt and shorts instead. His bedhead was worse than usual after carefully taking out the hair tie lodged inside of his hair.

"auck!" Kenma coughed as the water escaped up into his nose. He finished washing up and sat back down into his bed. He took the bag alisa had lent him and set it down onto floor before opening the gaming community website again. Surprisingly he had gotten tons of messages none realizing he was not a female. Upon scrolling down the inbox he noticed that T1nMan had been the first to message him. 

"Oh well," Kenma shrugged "First come first serve" Kenma had opened the conversation:

T1NMAN  
hey! you wanted someone to help you out with league right?

Sakuta.Softgirl  
yeah! could you help? We could be friends! Im trying to get this super rare skin but I dont have enough money! 

T1NMAN  
which skin is it? I could buy you it if we're friends its no big deal at all!

\-------

Kenma had sat there stifling a laugh creeping up his throat. Though he felt a little guilty he had to admit it was amusing and brought more fun than anything besides his video games. He decided on a skin that had been released based off of a new kpop idol group. The skin was about over $40 so if he was willing to pay for that than for sure he would be able to buy Magi Online for him.

\-------

Sakura.Softgirl  
Well I wanted the nine tail fox one based off the new girl group. I think its super pretty but I just dont have enough to get it. You dont have to buy me it you know, your friendship will work just fine!

T1NMAN  
no Its totally fine. Spending that much isnt too big of a deal for me :). Hey whats your discord tag? I can log on right now.

\-------

Kenma sat there not knowing what to do at all. Call? Could Kenma even sound like a girl? He knew his voice wasnt exactly masculine or deep but not high pitched or woman-like either. Even though Kenma was completely free at the moment he decided to lie a little bit.

\----- --

Sakura.Softgirl  
my discord user is the same as my username on here and #7284 I cant log on right now im so sorry I hope it doesnt bother you at all im so sorry! <3

T1NMAN  
ive added you! Dont worry about it I'd wait as long for you as you like ;)

\------

amusement and second hand embarrassment crept through Kenma

"what a simp" he scoffed in between a giggle. He still needed to figure out if his voice could sound femenine. Opening his mouth he let out a sound trying to make it as nasally and high-pitched as possible 

"aaaaaaa" Kenma slapped his hand over his mouth. "I sound like a little girl crying for help" Kenma groaned. After a few more attempts he shocked himself. He was way too good at this for it to be true. Kenma sighed and put on makeup and dress again

\-------

Sakura.Softgirl (logged on 3s ago)  
hey im ready to get on now!

INCOMING AUDIO CALL FROM T1NMAN

\----- 

hesitantly Kenma clicked answer and adjusted the phone to his face and showed parts of his dress a little bit. 

"Hello!" Kenma greeted in his painfully good impression.

"whats up?" Kenma flinched. The voice had been awfully deep and intimidated him a little bit. It bothered him that his camera wasnt on what if it was some old man bring a creep. Kenma was fully aware that this voice couldnt have belonged to an old man and it defenitely belonged to someone around his age. Kenma had just wanted an excuse to justify the reason why he had wanted to know the face behind that strangely deep voice. Reminded him of a streamer he once saw.

as if the man were a psychic he said "My webcam on my computer wont work but I assure you im defenitely not a pedophile" he giggled. A wave of chills came over Kenma. Something about the voice had strangely drawn him in. Lost in his thought he flinched when he spoke again

"You can call me Tee, its what some of my friends call me"

Kenma nodded before logging onto the game ready to start. Kenmas hand froze. Tee had really bought him the skin.

"Do you like it sakura?"

"I-" for a moment he was so happy he almost broke charecter. He came back to his senses and put on his cute nasally voice. 

"I love it thank you so much! I dont know what I'd do without you, if you were here right now I'd kiss you!" Kenma had tried hard not to cringe at his own statements. That was how girls talked right?

Kenmas face flushed as he heard the voice laugh. The laugh had sounded so genuine and sweet Kenma was beginning to feel guilt more than amusement or embarrassment. He also couldnt tell why he was burning up," maybe the lack of sleep last night had gotten to me" 

Kenma pretended to receive a notif from his phone as an excuse to leave the call. Even though they had barely met Kenma was already starting to grow attatched without even realizing it. Instead of having Magi online inside his head instead he thought of clothes Tee would like or what kind of games he and Tee could play together. Kenma couldnt even tell him to snap out of it. It wsa inevitable.


End file.
